"Oh, poor Augie...all of his relationships are like platform games. Jumping around, avoiding traps and enemies, you get hurt when touching people, and when you think you've reached the end, it starts again with the first level. =P And the victory animations always end with the kiss, and don't show the interesting stuff... 
 
It didn't work out when he hooked up with the Wolfman, and it's going to be difficult with the vampire...so here's a little list of Augie's other options: 
 
-Mummy: 
Pros: dry humour, 4000+ years of experience. 
Cons: body too brittle for sex. 
 
-Frankenstein monster: 
Pros: cuddly, bodyparts can be upgraded at will. 
Cons: not a great conversationalist, more piercings and scars than the average goth. 
 
-Invisible man: 
Pros: intelligent, good-looking (he *claims*). 
Cons: you're never sure whether he's cheating on you. 
 
-Monster from the Black Lagoon: 
Pros: underwater fun! 
Cons: smells of fish."

-Roman, creator of  B-Movie Comic 

Personally, my vote is for Frankenstein's monster. ^__^'